Be authentic

How to make sure you don't waste your time? Stay authentic and your clients will be your fans


People often pretend to be something or someone they aren’t. Often in social situations, people act differently than they do with their close friends and family. However, it’s important to stay true to who you are, i.e., to be your authentic self.

It’s natural that people want to be accepted but the key to staying true to yourself is not worrying too much about what others think or believe. People should accept you for who you are. Don’t waste your time on people who don’t.

Do not waste your time on customers/clients who need something you don't offer. Just refer a friend.

Being authentic means you’re not going to waste time lying to yourself. If you’re stuck or don’t know what to do next, you’re more likely to look for solutions and find them, leading to more successful outcomes.

When you’re authentic, people know they can trust you; they want to be around you. Looking for people to work with on a project? You’ll have plenty of volunteers. Even in social situations, you’re going to find yourself the center of attention more often. You’ll make better connections with people who are interested in helping you on the road to success.

Reputation matters. It is perhaps the most significant help in achieving success. If people see you as being ‘real,’ they’re going to support you in whatever you do. Success comes naturally from here.

People who are at peace with their true selves are much more resilient when it comes to dealing with life’s ups and downs. They deal better with stress, which in turn has great benefits for their physical health. They don’t spend their lives in the cortisol soup that comes from being highly stressed.

Living in alignment means you’re much more likely to take care of yourself, you’ll prioritize self-care, rest, and balance. Researchers found that people committed to living an authentic life were more likely to eat healthy foods, exercise and get regular physical exams. Being your authentic self also sets you up for better mental health as you are calmer, less conflicted, and generally all-around happier!

So how you can be authentic?

Don't pretend

If you aren’t being your authentic self, you will falter at some point. It’s not a matter of if, but when. Did you ever notice that people who lie, often tell a different story later? This is because they won’t remember what the story was in the past and have no choice but to make up new details. If you are pretending to be someone you are not, this is essentially the same as lying. You wouldn't do business with someone who give different terms each day, would you? So why would you pretend?

When I started at the university in London it was so expensive even with a scholarship. So I got an office job, where I had to smile and greet people and tell them which room they have an appointment. But on my 3rd day, I got told by an Executive to "lose the accent". Thankfully I didn't last there long and got into online work, where people appreciated my language skills and ended up here.

If you’re authentic, people who aren’t as open or truthful in their own lives will tend to shy away from you. Even when they don’t, your inherent honesty is going to make it easier for you to spot people who aren’t as authentic as you are.

Know who you are.

It’s important to know yourself. This may seem like an obvious statement, but many people don’t know who they are. Dig deep to discover the subtle aspects of your life that you tend to ignore or keep hidden. There is no need to hide your true personality because that is who you are. You can’t change that. But guess what there are people in the world who are similar to you, and they will likely work with you. Being authentic leads to better relationships because you’re not pretending to be someone else. You can be honest and straightforward about who you are and what you value, without fear of being judged. You’re also better at managing boundaries and less judgmental of others.

Funny how I tend to end up working with single parents, nomads, and multilingual individuals who like reading and hiking.

These are not discussions when we speak about business growth but usually come up when we take a coffee break and someone is just late for a few minutes to come back to the consulting session.

To live an authentic life has a significant effect on your self-confidence. You like yourself more, you trust your judgment, you acknowledge and work with your own unique set of skills and talents, and you make better choices that align with how you want to be. As your confidence grows, you’ll inspire respect in others as they see you living in your truth. People recognize and respect authenticity. You’ll find yourself being a role model for others.

Stop trying to be someone else.

Everyone has people they look up to. However, looking up to someone and trying to be them is not the same. It’s worthwhile to emulate some of their desirable traits, but make sure you aren’t stepping outside of who you are deep down.

My mentor likes, flying and staying in high-quality hotels. She talks about it as her standard which is great. For her.

I love what she teaches about sales and business development, and public speaking, but I rather stay in a small place where I can meet the owners and learn about the locals. And take a train around whenever it is possible.

When it comes to making decisions, authenticity will guide you to do what you really want to do, over what you ‘should’ do, and what everybody else is doing. Paying attention to your gut feelings will stand you in good stead because, more often than not, your intuition is right. Listen to your intuition, and you’ll find you have fewer regrets and more achievements.

When people see you living in alignment with your values, and see you being straightforwardly yourself, their trust in you will soar. And trustworthy people make great leaders. If you are known for being honest and trustworthy, you’re more likely to be given opportunities.

Don’t compromise on your values.

If you believe in something, stand firm. Sometimes, you’ll have no choice but to make some compromises, but don’t cave in if they go against your beliefs. You must live with these choices. You want to be able to sleep at night.

I go to a lot of networking events. But I rarely drink. I don't care if it is in the price of the ticket. I have to go home and take care of 2 preschoolers and I can not do a high-quality job of that if I drank.

Being authentic means, you stay true to yourself. By extension, you remain true to your goals as well. Authenticity makes it easier to choose your next steps, as everything you do will reflect your values and where you want to go.

And ultimately, living an authentic life means that when you come to the end of your natural life, there shouldn’t be any regrets! You’ve probably seen those lists of top regrets of the dying and resolved not to be one of those people. Start now by choosing to live authentically. Choose to be authentic and choose to be happy!

BUT HOW CAN YOU BE AUTHENTIC?

Brainstorm a list of values that you truly believe in.

Few of mine are

Focus on the values that you feel/believe very strongly.

This list will become your “core values”.

Consider these the values you will never waiver on.

Strive to be more positive by finding "affirmations" to use.

I recommend reading Elenor H Porter's book, Pollyanna. She is the ultimate positivity :P

If there is an aspect of your personality you are struggling to accept, then focus your affirmations there.

My problem was work-life balance. Until I realized work is part of my life. So I just have to schedule it as I schedule a dentist appointment or block out time for homeschooling.

To be your authentic self, you sometimes need to stand up to others.

This takes courage.

To increase your courage, try activities that are outside your normal routine.

Commit to meeting a new person every month.

This is why I love trains, there are so many people to talk to.

Also, try activities like zip-lining or skydiving. At first I heard this I did paragliding and I loving it since.

Your courage will strengthen because of these activities.

So how you are and how do you want to be?